There was a time in my life that on any given day your best chance at finding me was to stop by either the MAC Cosmetics counter, Sephora, Nordstrom, or any other establishment where I could swipe one of my many credit cards.
I shopped on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday…almost every day, until I exhausted myself. I literally shopped until I dropped.
Taking Time to Reflect
Eventually, I realized that I couldn’t keep up this habit. Not if I didn’t want to end up being homeless.
After waking up from this sort of daydream, or fog I was in, and reflecting on everything, it allowed me to recognize what caused this erratic behavior. Shopping was my way of getting my mind off of things. It made me happy. That, and the fact that I am probably the girliest girl you’ll ever know and love all things that sparkle, shine or make me look better, and I needed more self-control.
At the time this all started, I felt I needed an escape. Shopping brought me not only this, but a high. It brought me joy every time I entered those sliding doors into that store full of vibrantly colored skirts and flowery tops. The glisten of jewelry and sparkle of shoes distracted my eyes from what was really going on in my life. I didn’t want to face reality. I didn’t want to face my loneliness or the fact that I was in an awful relationship that was draining the life out of me.
But what helped me most was getting to the ROOT, or cause of the unhealthy behavior. That is
key. You have to identify what is messing you up and causing you to make bad decisions, and confront it in order to ever change. I couldn’t change anything when I was still living with my head in the clouds. Clarity allowed me to see everything that I needed to pave a new path. And it wasn’t easy. Change never is.
So number one in turning my life around, I realized I needed to get rid of the emotional vampire from my life. From there I could move forward with positivity. So out he went and the healing journey of my heart and finances finally began.
Create a Plan
I made a vow to myself to no longer look to shopping to fill voids in my life. Instead, I filled my days with volunteering, talking to friends, writing, working out, reading great books, getting a second job and spending more time with family.
After temporarily moving back home with my parent’s in order to save and dig myself out of this dark hole I learned some very hard, but valuable lessons that I would like to share with you. I believe the following gems will help you if you are in the same shoes as I was, or spare you from ever having to be!
Valuable Lessons Learned:
- Think before you spend. And with your head, not your heart. Don’t act upon a quick fluttering of emotions.
- If you can’t pay with cash, it shouldn’t even be an option. Put that plastic away! Act as if you have no choice.
- Leave your credit cards at home before shopping
- You do not need high end products. Yves St Lauren can wait until you get your finances in order or start that booming business. Start small and build. Drug store makeup does the same trick. I should know after trying on half of the store! P.S. I’ve even found some drug store brands are better than the expensive ones.
- Don’t just buy something because it’s on sale – most items are on sale for a reason. No one else wanted it, it wasn’t a hot seller. I don’t need a crystal ball to tell you I see it hanging in your closet with the tags still on it in a year.
- Remember one great piece of clothing that you feel like a bombshell in is much better than five scraggly sale items that you never want to wear, or don’t feel good in.
- Love it or leave it. Don’t buy something unless you LOVE it! If you’re not sure, if you’re going back and forth in your mind, you don’t want it enough. It will sit on your shelf and you’ll be sorry a week later.
- Have self-control and wait until pay-day instead of racking up credit card debt. It’s much easier to spend more when you aren’t actually counting out and handing over the cash, dollar by dollar.
- Budget your spending. Allow yourself to have some money to spend and know what that will be so you can make a plan as to how you want to use it.
- Make a list of exactly what you need and what you’re looking for. We often forget what we have in our closets, and in the heat of the moment buy things that we already own. Look through your closet and do some research beforehand so you can be on a mission when you get to the mall
- Shop at resale boutiques, consignment shops, Platos Closet or places where you can get a discount, like Gabriel Brothers.
- If you want something, ask the clerk to hold it behind the register so you can think about it a little longer. If you still want the item before you leave the mall then go back and get it.
- Remind yourself that shopping is not a hobby. Creating something beautiful, taking a walk… those are hobbies. Going to the mall is not something to do when you are bored and need something to do. Find more productive, fulfilling things to do like spending time with friends or family, volunteering your time to charity or reading a good book.
- That dress that you just have to have that’s $200 now might just turn into $450 by the time interest has snowballed and you end up being able to pay it off. Interest is like a disease, it spreads and grows. Try to avoid it like the plague.
- Don’t drown yourself in interest! I get so angry when I see what I’ve paid in interest over the years. If you get yourself in deep enough you will be enslaved to paying just mainly interest alone to these large companies – making it harder and harder to ever pay off your actual debt. Don’t let them suck you in!
So please, the next time you are tempted to get an emotional high from shopping, or mask a certain pain, or even think that life would be better if you ‘just had this or that’…re-consider. Get to the root of the issue. If it’s pure boredom then get some interesting, exciting new hobbies or spend more time with friends. But if it’s a deeper psychological issue you might want to consider getting counseling or talking to someone you can trust about what’s been bothering you. Focus on the positives of what you can be doing to improve your life overall. The world is yours, and its so much bigger than shopping! Leave a legacy. Don’t waste your life caught up in the plastic, fake world of shopping addiction. Focus on things of real meaning and you will soar.
I hope these tips will save you from getting yourself into the same mess that I got myself into!
xoxo ~ Katie
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